Part eighteen: Fear
The saying goes that if you do not feel fear, then you are either an idiot or a psychopath.
Fear has been with us since the dawn of history; it has always been and will be. It is our guide and our best friend. Thanks to this we are still in the world. It just helps in matters of survival and making everyday decisions.
Fear has many faces. One of them is a justified fear, a healthy and straightforward emotion that allows us to survive. An example is a fear of entering a burning building, standing on the edge of a tall building, fear of seeing a lion or other dangerous animal. Other examples, much more trivial, include interviewing, signing contracts, starting education, moving through busy roadways, driving a car without a driving license or meeting face to face with an aggressive person. Each of these situations informs us about the threat and mobilizes our entire body for a possible fight.
In response to fear, the heart begins to beat faster, and we produce adrenaline. These are the original signs to assess each situation in our favor better. The core of fear is often in childhood, but many are inherited from generation to generation. It brings us information about the survival of our race. It is visible not only to humans but also to animals. It is the basis of our existence.
Each of us feels some fear. The problem arises when under the influence of awe we get paralysis, or we can not justify it. Then we create little logical explanation of our behavior. For the average person, these are strange arguments, some absurdities, and clichés. For you, it is unquestionable proof that it is threatening you.
The ideal situation in life is only the feeling of fear justified because irrational fears can thwart you and stop you from reaching a given life goal. Bypassing this wide gap can be very labor-intensive and time-consuming. It is, therefore, worth devoting some time to this issue and even asking for a psychologist’s advice.
Such typical – irrational behavior is the fear of entering a high building, traveling by plane or leaving the house. Of course, the best solution will be to enter this building, fly by plane or leave the house, but the paralysis that affects these people is too muscular. There are many methods to overcome fear; I will present the one I know the most, which I used more than once, namely understanding, acceptance and love.
I will use the example of arachnophobia, or fear of spiders. Unless you live in Australia, I do not see a greater need to be afraid of some miniature spider. However, this is a fear of humanity and the world. Especially women have problems with this and a large sum of men. It is unjustified behavior because it is we who create fantastic stories about them. For example, that spiders like to jump on us or at night, they enter into our mouths. What’s the most interesting, although we know that it is not so, we continue to persuade it.
Why is there a spider in the world? What role does it have in nature? Is it just to create spiderwebs? And if it creates them, why are they? Knowing the answer to these questions, we can get to the bottom of understanding. Without a spider, we probably will not defend ourselves from flies and mosquitoes. Of course, they are not only responsible for flying insects, but they are useful in our favor.
Accepting that the spider is not your enemy, but your friend will not be comfortable. However, there are a few things you can do to improve your relationship. For example, the resolution that you will never kill any spider, not outside or in your home. If it becomes too big and you are nervous by viewing it on the wall, ask someone who gently puts it outdoor without damaging it. Another way is to give it a name and greet it every time you enter the room.
It is gratitude to the spider for its work for you. In this phase, you can explain why you love these six-legged craters, and you can tell it to anyone who asks. You don’t have a problem when they are hanging on the ceiling or even when they move a little. It is not yet time that you will take them in your hand without problems. It requires time and determination, but also other tactics such as implosion therapy.
Understanding, accepting and loving can be practically applied to any paralyzing fear you have. If you know of an obstacle in your surroundings that you can not jump over, follow these tips. And sometimes jump into hot water at once will be the ideal solution
Positively embrace your fear.