Part nine: Lose your backpack
Emotional life baggage is nothing but a big backpack, often very heavy, worn on the back. Under this weight, the knees bend, and the spine begins to bump. In most cases, the sacrum starts to adjust to the uneven size on the right and left, resulting in our spine beginning to curl bizarrely. There is no longer a straight line that holds the balance, but a cursed wave of ups and downs, impaired beliefs, poorly remembered events, and false logic.
That is why in this chapter we will talk about the past and why it is worth to unpack your luggage from time to time and remove unnecessary goods.
If you remember correctly, then you know that learning history is necessary so that you do not make the same mistakes. Unfortunately, this is an outrageously mistaken invention of historians. Yes, we learn from mistakes, but we rarely commit them again. All you need to do is turn on the TV and watch the news. The Third World War has been around for decades, but it has never occurred to anyone to give it a name. To learn from history, we should not have any war at all, under any pretext. However, the world is still suffering.
The same applies to our history. As we try hard to weaken internal conflict, we start a new fight with ourselves and our surroundings from the beginning. As if that was not enough, we are looking for allies to fight. Often these are children in partner conflicts, friends in personal matters, police, lawyers, district or anyone. In the spheres, not only private but also political, we are looking for those guilty, and if we can not find them, we start blaming ourselves.
Someone once said a beautiful parable: Today will be Yesterday Tomorrow. And with this thought, we will look for happiness today because it was too late yesterday.
Does the question arise how to unpack your luggage? And there are probably many methods for balancing the weight, emptying partitions, and utilizing content. Select the right technique from the emotional state. The process in each case will be different, sometimes full of impressions, and occasionally trouble-free. However, we always start with the desire to lose unnecessary kilograms, exactly like quitting smoking. You will not stop smoking if you do not decide it’s time for a change. At this point, you choose that no matter what happened, the story should stay in the past and the end of the dot!
The next step is to thoroughly analyze the given event, both from your point of view and from a different angle. Answer the question of what these emotions bring to your life, but also what feelings the other side was using. Know that we are not flawless, and the cause is usually on both sides. Do not be fooled that you’re always right; it’s a vicious circle. Your reason will still be a total failure for someone else, and a vice versa.
Emptying the backpack ends with throwing the interior into the trash. If you do not have a waste bin next to you, we are forced to build it ourselves. How it will look depends on you. Maybe you prefer a covered container, perhaps a firebox. Also, temporary garbage is good until the arrival of a garbage truck, windows in a block of flats, a dull metal or plastic basket for a washbasin, a plastic bag or a container next to the house. Keep this image in your memory, because you will need it for each event.
However, this is not the end. Now the most challenging task is segregation. Remembering that negative emotions are a burden, and positive ones are driving us to the heavens, the equation is obvious. All negative goes to the dustbin, positive remains in the backpack.
Distinguishing two sides of the coin lies in finding positive results of the situation. With a deep regret in the heart, it will be quite an achievement, which is why an important step is to enter the head of the other side. The most critical motto to follow knows that every action has good intentions, both yours and, for example, the person with whom you have a conflict. Listening to it without excessive discussion is a great way. However, if this is not possible, you have to play the role of the opponent.
The questions you have to ask yourself are elementary: what was the struggle, what you got out of it, what you learned. Remember that falling is just a change from standing to lying. From this point, the world looks completely different.
Choose situations from the past that troubles you and try to analyze it from all sides without adding credit. This exercise is to be an examination of conscience. Create your garbage and then sort out the grief and learning taken from this event. Throw Negative emotions into your virtual garbage can.