Part one: Using correct words


How to be successful happy? 100 ideas for a healthy mind


Part one: Using correct words


To the question asked to my client, whether he prefers to regain hearing in exchange for speech, he said without hesitation that he would prefer to keep speech. It was scary to me, but also intriguing. Because is there really a way to explain something like that in a logical way. It is true that he lost his hearing already fifteen years ago and maybe he is so accustomed to the situation that he does not care much about being able to hear the sound of the outside world, but the loss of speech would be a catastrophe for him. Completely the opposite to me. I prefer to spend time in silence, and when asked about anything, I open my mouth reluctantly. However, I guess there are not that many people like me.


We people love to talk, gossip, sing, scream or lament. And we do it almost non-stop, regardless of whether our interviewer is interested in our arguments. Our speech gives us the guarantee that we are heard, but it does not guarantee that our message reaches the public in a proper way. And you probably think, what kind of magical method is this and what has it got to do with happiness?


It may look like our community is not interested in you, but it resonates with what you say and how you use certain words. Because some words oppress our ego and by using them it gets us in a bad mood and also gets the next listener in a bad mood as well. It works in a very simple way. Imagine a situation, where you get up in the morning feeling bad about yourself and the whole world. As you enter the dining room, where your family is eating breakfast, immediately a quarrel begins, someone pokes someone, someone begins to lament over himself. Next, you imagine the situation that you woke up in a good way instead, going down to the dining room and within 20 seconds each of the household members begins to smile. That’s how your energy works.

 Now how do words work? The words also have their own energy. For example, saying ‘not bad’ about something pleasant, the subconsciousness of your callers only catches the word ‘bad’. The same applies to the statements used about yourself. Do you want to make someone feel good saying “I’m not lazy, stubborn or impatient”? In this situation, you already know what the subconsciousness of your interviewer is hearing.


Let’s exchange this for the positive effect you want to create. ‘Not bad’ change to ‘good’, ‘are not bothered lazy, impatient or stubborn’ changes to ‘I’m hard-working, open to ideas and patient’. Every negative word has its counterpart, so start getting caught in using it. Trying to do this daily exercise at some point you will use positive expressions already automatically.


But how does this still translate to happiness? Positive words give positive energy and then positive energy comes to the conversation or your own subconsciousness and reflects on creating the so-called ‘chain drag’. These vibrations come back to you, which makes you feel better. So now, if someone gets up in a bad mood, by saying something positive about him that will certainly brighten up all day, this it will become a chain reaction that will affect every person from here on and at some point will come back to you.



Write down words or phrases on a piece of paper (not on your computer) that are negative and which you often use. In the next column write down the positive words or expressions you can use instead. Then read only the second column and try to start using it in everyday life. Good luck.


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This Post Has 9 Comments

  1. Dave Menzies

    Thanks for this insight. I’m also a lover of quietness so like yourself I would rathe lose my power of speech than of hearing. As Peter Gabriel once said – we have two ears and one mouth, that gives us a clue about the ratio of speech to listening”. Great insight also on choosing the words we do use and how they can be received. I’m Scottish and we have a book festival here called “Aye Write”. Apparently the name is a play on words taken from a challenge set in an English class: The lecturer bet the class they couldn’t find two positive word that created a negative meaning. “Aye right!” quipped a student. In Scotland that phrase equates to “Nonsense” or “Rubbish” – a negative meaning from two positive words.

    1. annaaldona

      Thank you Dave for your comment.

  2. Sabrina

    Great read. Sometimes we don’t realize the words we use because we are so accustomed to using them. Becoming more aware is definitely the first step.

    1. annaaldona

      Thank you Sabrina for your comment.

  3. Bernadette

    A positive healthy mind is a skill we can develop. Over time we seem to have gathered this ability to even use our tome in the way we say things to actually mean the opposite to the words we use, An example of this is having cooked a wonderful meal I ask my partner if he enjoyed the meal and his reply is often “not bad”. Really!!. I actually know that its a compliment because I know him so well but the words he used are the exact opposite. How does this happen?
    I too have been following peoples conversations, identifying the frequency of negative responses over positive ones and as a rule, the majority of responses tend to be negative, even when said tongue in cheek. How was your day? just Dandy !!!
    what about this crazy response – when something is really good some would say “it’s sick”.
    Jack Cranfield says the average person talks to himself or herself 50 times a day and that 80% of that self-talk is negative, I don’t like my hair today…, I’ll never be able to achieve that……., I’m so stupid…, I’ll never get organized……., I’m always late……. These negative thoughts actually control our behaviors.
    When we have negative thoughts they affect our bodies, making us weak, and anxious and uncomfortable, while positive thoughts affect our bodies in a positive way making us relaxed, centered and alert. This releases endorphins in the brain and can reduce pain and increase pleasure.
    So what we need to do is to focus on the positive and turn those negative thoughts into positive ones. It’s not easy, as we have been thinking in the negative for years.
    the advice from Jack Canfield is as follows
    1. Firstly we have to become aware of the negative thoughts
    2. We have to shake them off and stomp them out by challenging them
    3. We have to replace them with positive more affirming thoughts.
    Talk to your self like you ate a winner, empower yourself with your thoughts, turn your inner critic into an inner coach who encourages you and gives you confidence, We can do this with awareness, focus, and intention.
    I’ve started the exercise suggested, very interesting.

    1. annaaldona

      Thank you Bernardette for your comment. I will replay to your idea’s in the next chapters for sure 🙂

  4. Roger Moisan

    It is so true that the language we use on a daily basis shapes how we live our lives. Not only what we say but also what we think. I have trained myself to reject negative thoughts and retarget my mind on positivity regardless of what is happening. We are in control and must not give in to our environment.

  5. Jillana Raye

    So true about the words we use and how the subconscious mind only hears the negative words, even when said with a positive spin (eg; “not bad”). Years ago, when I taught pre-school and my own children were young we teachers were careful to say things like, “walk!” instead of “don’t run”…. because the child would hear the word “run”!
    I appreciate you adding an actionable exercise at the end for your readers to implement immediately! Do you feel that the same exercise could benefit those (most of us) who tend to use negative words toward ourselves as a way to begin to increase our own self-worth and esteem?

    1. annaaldona

      Thank you Jillana for your comment. About self-worth and esteem, there is a litter bit in chapter four: loving yourself. And yes, this is very important subject 🙂

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